The miscellaneous writings of Mark Bridgeman


You know, the one where the girl is dressed all in white and thoroughly enjoying herself whilst being the centre of attention as some brainless photographer randomly points a camera at her and bangs the flash a few times, just so that we know that she is a model, and a highly successful one at that.  Then mother nature turns up with a red box in her post menopausal hands, telling our heroine that everything must stop until the monthly gift is finished with.  


“I don’t think so,” or words to that effect our blobbing friend replies, as she has the special, latest, best ever version of tampax, the one with the go faster stripes or increased tread depth or whatever…  


Well just for the record, I really hate that ad, not as much as I hate their latest one though.  


You know, the one where they are at the CGI olympics.  This time Mother Nature presents a nice young, athlete/gymnast with the dreaded red box.  


Oh noes, no Gold Medals…


Let’s hope that our heroine is off the blob in time for the next olympiad, because everybody knows that when it’s your time of the month ladies, everything must stop.  You must go home and stay in, draw your curtains (the ones on the windows) and sit in the dark for two weeks (just to be sure).  If someone knocks the door cover your face and hide your shame, because you are not a functioning or legitimate member of the human race until your period finishes…  Or better yet, put a red flag up outside the house, that way important people (like the bin men, bailiffs or posties) will know that you are having your ‘special time’ and not bother you.      


That’s what I hate about these crappy, useless tampax adverts.  The implication that everything must stop, including the fun when your period arrives.  Not to mention that the other implication that periods interfere with life and stop you achieving success in business, leisure and personal relationships and that you are somehow unclean when you have a period.  


Having a period is just a bodily function, a really healthy one in fact.  You can still win medals, star in photo shoots, go out on a date, drive the car, or just about anything you like.  Life goes on, but ironically enough, if women didn’t have periods life wouldn’t go on at all and that would mean the extinction of the human race.

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