The miscellaneous writings of Mark Bridgeman

Hot Politics or Why I ******* Hate the Tories

Honestly, it’s because they are liars, not the barefaced election promise type of lies that we all know and love mind you, it’s the ‘who we stand for lies’ that p*ss me off.


You see they claim that they are the party of aspiration and achievement, you know for those members of our society that want to pick themselves up by their bootstraps and climb to the top on their own merit.  


Nothing wrong with a bit of self enterprise you might think, but this is not who the tories really represent, it’s them shareholders that they really secretly love.



You know the peeps who buy shares in ICI and other footsie100 (FTSE100) companies.  They really, really love them and are frequently wined and dined by them.  It’s enough to make a girl go all dizzy, isn’t it Dave?


They are the shareholder party!  That’s right the party of the people who buys shares, usually lots of shares at a time, not just one or two or a couple a grands worth for a side investment.  I mean the people who buy shares in the millions at a time and sell them just as quickly.


Sadly there’s not enough of these people around to come out and vote for them directly which is why they make every effort to try and appeal to us, the rest of us, the electorate with their dazzling promises that nirvana is only a step away and that paradise awaits us around the corner.  Except it isn’t…  Then we get cuts so that multi-millionaires and russian oligarchs can pay less taxes than they already do, which for most of them is zero…


Still it could be worse though you could be a labour MP (the shareholder party ‘lite’) or one of them little yellow folk, the ‘we committed political suicide by getting in bed with big Dave and his cronies party…’


I think they were called Lib Dems!

I don’t know about you but metaphorically them Tories have well and truly shafted little Nick and his pals quivering into the bed sheets.  It’s a hot and sweaty room, the sheets are crumpled and Nick is still trembling from the orgasms (having been put through a variety of positions) and he feels a little used and a bit dirty, (which to be fair is part of the appeal of power) whilst Dave showers in the background somewhere (metaphorically speaking).


Bite the pillow we’re coming in dry…

It would have been fair had little Nick got his promise of electoral and Lord’s reform, but the shareholder party wouldn’t swallow it (the sex subtext is going a bit far now!) as a result little Nick wouldn’t agree to political equivalent of an*l sex known as boundary reform.  


The yellow folk are finished as a political party as we all know they only had students and protest voters supporting them before, now of course they’ve pissed the students off and have been chucked out by the tories, they can’t even go back to their old flame, the labour party.


The next time you see a LibDem MP might be at the foodbank and serves them right, sacrificing principles for power, I mean who would do that?  Actually all of them would, but that is kind of my point!


So if you want more of the same, vote “Shareholder’s” at the next election, because we all know that big business that outsource their labour to the philippines whilst selling their shit to us, paying no taxes to the exchequer are really good for the country.


It’s an abusive relationship alright!  One that consists of take, take, take!  They take our money and force us to buy into their values because there’s no other choice.  They get foreigners to make it for us and call us racist for questioning this and pay nothing to this country at all, but still want us to buy their stuff.  They don’t even want to give you a job making it, because that would benefit you and the one thing they can’t stand is the thought of you having some benefit from their existence, not unless you pay through the nose for it.


The don’t care, they are rich!  They don’t need your love or approval because they can buy it in the philippines where the laws are really slack about that type of thing.


The one thing that the super rich have all got in common is that they all have stocks and shares and they all want to see a return on their investment, this means lowering wages, maximising profits and doing it quickly without any investment.  Despite popular opinion to the contrary this isn’t actually business or capitalism.  It’s actually just gambling when this type of thing is done via the stockmarket.


Imagine living in a house with an addicted gambler, he’ll gamble everything that he can lay his hands on to earn more money, even taking your money.  When he wins big you might get the odd chinese takeaway or a small treat; when he loses in a big way you may almost lose the house.  Add to that, that this gambler doesn’t like you, or even respect you, is only nice to you when he wants something and frequently threatens to take your treats away if he can’t carry on gambling.  We’d all agree that sounds like a pretty abusive relationship.  One that we’d be better off getting out of.  That’s the typical mindset of a big business, short term stock market investor and the Tories, well they ****ing love them.  The shareholders!


Vote Shareholders at the next election, because right now they are in the process of agreeing the TTIP (Transatlantic Trade and Investment Partnership) between the EU and the US which if it goes through unchanged would force european nations to sell of and privatise their health services.


So Vote Shareholders if you want to see an end to the NHS as we know it!


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