The miscellaneous writings of Mark Bridgeman

How do I forget my desire?

Don’t try to, because all that will do is just create an attachment for the desire. The best advice is simply to find some time and meditate, clear your mind completely, just focus on the breath.

The key is to understand that all desires (no matter how nice you may think that they are) cause suffering. Why would you want to suffer?

A desire that is fulfilled leaves you feeling empty and hollow, making you want to go looking for something else to desire to fill the void inside of you, and the cycle of want, desire, suffering and emptiness continues.

Make peace with your inner void by rejecting desire as being a cause of unhappiness and suddenly you will find that you are filled with bliss. When you sit back and think about it you don’t really need lots of things to get by in life, you don’t need fancy cars, the latest gadgets, the fanciest clothes or that ‘one special person,’ that you think will make you happy.

That’s just attachment, attachment to desire. Desire leads to suffering, so drop the desires by realising that they are all hollow and as worthless as the dust at your feet.

The best use of your time is helping other people, being a good friend, being good to your family, helping your neighbours and lending a hand is a good start.

I take the stoic view that virtue is its own reward, helping other people and being good to other people inevitably leads to happiness, real happiness that cannot be extinguished. You will envy no man, for you will have mastered all of your desires.

Featured Image: Saudade (Longing), by José Ferraz de Almeida Júnior, oil on carvas, 1899. Displayed in the Pinacoteca do Estado de São Paulo.

Saudade (European Portuguese: [sɐwˈdadɨ], Brazilian Portuguese: [sawˈdadi] or [sawˈdadʒi], Galician: [sawˈðaðe]; plural saudades)[1] is a deep emotional state of nostalgic or profound melancholic longing for an absent something or someone that one loves. It means missingness. Moreover, it often carries a repressed knowledge that the object of longing might never return.   A stronger form of saudade might be felt towards people and things whose whereabouts are unknown, such as a lost lover, or a family member who has gone missing, moved away, separated, or died.

Saudade was once described as “the love that remains” after someone is gone. Saudade is the recollection of feelings, experiences, places, or events that once brought excitement, pleasure, well-being, which now triggers the senses and makes one live again. It can be described as an emptiness, like someone (e.g., one’s children, parents, sibling, grandparents, friends, pets) or something (e.g., places, things one used to do in childhood, or other activities performed in the past) that should be there in a particular moment is missing, and the individual feels this absence. It brings sad and happy feelings altogether, sadness for missing and happiness for having experienced the feeling.

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