The miscellaneous writings of Mark Bridgeman

My Internet has gone crap again.

I’m laying the blame at the door of TalkTalk for this one.  


I’ve had no end of problems with my internet lately, though to be fair to TalkTalk it’s not just them.  I’ve had BT, Tiscali, Supernet and a whole host of different providers over the years, despite the fact that it’s the same line attached to my house. They all claim to ‘own it’, yet whenever there’s a fault it’s always the BT guys that turn up to fix it.


Anyhow, lately in the evenings when everyone else is relaxing, (but somehow I am still working,) my internet connection just drops to a really tragic crawl.  The information superhighway is apparently congested with rush hour traffic as all of the kids get online in their homes and start doing ‘kid stuff’.


When I was young, ‘kid stuff’ was hanging around by the bus shelter, with no money to actually catch a bus anywhere.  We’d walk the streets and mope about in small gangs.  


My mother would refer to this as ‘Mooching’. ‘What are you mooching about by the shops for?’ Followed with ‘Haven’t you kids got anything better to do?’


We didn’t have anything better to do, but apparently today’s kids, have lots of things better to do and they largely involve the internet.


Worse yet, I earn my living out of the internet, (pittance that it is,) and I really resent the surfing, streaming and general chat claptrap that the kids get up to as soon as they are in.  Their combined efforts reduce my hourly rate from naff all to **** all… There is a huge difference between the two figures.  


Being unable to supply is the broadband company’s fault.  We don’t get this with other industries.


The electricity company step up the generators when EastEnders finishes as millions of people across the country flick their kettle’s on for a cuppa despite the fact that EastEnders’ is genuinely, horrible…   Like a visit to dignitas without any of the dignity…


The gas people manage to sustain constant pressure when everyone is cooking their dinner. The water board keep the pressure up, nice and strong at all times. In other words they match demand with supply.


Only in the internet industry, is this not the case.  It’s like a water company only allowing you a trickle because it’s bath night! It’s wrong, dishonest and fundamentally maddening.


There should be a bill brought before parliament to force internet providers to actually deliver the speeds that they advertise in their packages. I mean it’s obvious, all of the utility companies manage to do it….

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